All That You Can’t Leave Behind

August 7, 2006 at 9:11 am | Posted in Affiliations, Musings and Epiphanies, Rants, the L word, The Side of Me You Didn't Know | 7 Comments

I’m not spending as much time as I used to with my comrades.  The general comment during Kit’s birthday party was “Where have you been?”

I was  taking comfort in the easy reply — “I’m busy with my application with UPM.”  But actually the time management thing on that front has been quite unbelievably manageable.  I guess people were giving out that comment because I haven’t been attending “internal social events”.

And I guess I have to admit — even though it’s pretty old and blase, that A! parties tend to remind me too much of my old self.  Nobody remembers, and thankfully so, but it was only two years ago when I made a mess of myself during Kit’s other birthday party.

I care about the friends I have here, but I guess this is just me looking for myself out there. New faces, new places. And if I get lucky maybe new sides of myself I didn’t know were there.

Whatever it is, I just don’t want to go back to that bitter pathetic old fool who kept asking for it and blaming myself above everything and anything for not getting it.

And if skipping a few parties and avoiding certain places is what it takes to get rid of excess baggage so be it.  I just wish some faces could go as well, but that would be too much of a lucky break.