poor your misery down on me

March 1, 2007 at 5:40 pm | Posted in Politics, Rants | Leave a comment

On my list of to-do’s was filing, as a government employee, my current statement of assets and liabilities for the current year.  More waste of paper, if you ask me, since I heard Chavit Singson declaring his SAL at P32 million over Palaban on Channel 7 last night (or this morning).  As if anyone took that crap at face value. Hurl.

For the longest time, filing up the spaces provided for spousal information  has been easy.  I just put up huge “N.A.”s up on the form and that was it.  Piece of cake. It’s standard  format reply to whenever people ask  me if I’m dating anyone.  I just say NA.  Who’s NA they say, and I tell them ask the fucking government.

Then I get to the assets portion, and unfortunately, under the law you can’t classify wit and intelligence as assets.  They had to be tangible and quantifiable, easily one of my most hated english words.

So I skip that part and went to the easier part — recollecting who I owe, and how much.  Oh, the drama all came back to me.   After I was done I came up with a disastrous figure.  And no, it didn’t include the figures I owe my Avon lady.

I’m talking the big ones, the ones that have caused me sleepless nights — and days. The ones that gave me nightmares about doing time in prison for the crime of living beyond my means.  The ones that I keep tracking on my Handyshopper list of things to pay but always transfer from current to future settings.  The ones that once upon a time were neatly packaged by some incredulous lawyers out there into the all-encompassing, sanitized term “amortization”.
The idea behind an ASL is to check if you are living within the abilities that your government salary is  allowing you to have.  If it doesn’t, the SAL, however, is no sure guarantee they’ll give you more money to do so.  So I really don’t get it.  If you want to go after the crooks in government, then you should  tell congressmen that the next time an impeachment complaint is filed, don’t vote it to death.

Anyway, I digress.  So after all the recollecting and attempts at propping up a decent net worth classifiable as middle class, I came up with all assets I could possibly think of and came up with a  figure that assured me, with just one look, that my sum SAL would be in the red.

And it was.  And is.  Ugly fucking paper now filed with the appropriate people who are probably laughing at it, reading what kind of a doofus resorts to listing up “books” as an asset.  The kind of doofus who knows what the meaning of the word doofus is, you morons.

So now I am officially in the red.  My government papers say so.  No doubt about it.  And to think they say you could make a killing in public office.   Well, the only thing thats dead for me right now is the idea of going off to Galera for the weekend with some friends.  How can I afford anything anymore, when I have amortization backlogs that need to be addressed?

Maybe I should take out a loan.

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