hey, good-looking

February 1, 2007 at 7:24 pm | Posted in Rants, The Side of Me You Didn't Know | Leave a comment

goddamn you. why do you have to be so cute?  why can’t you have skin disease like every other asshole i know? why can’t you have coffee-stained teeth and dark, calloused hands like every jerk who can only go as far as posting their dick pics online?  why can’t you be a couch potato and drop dead watching 24 reruns?

no, you just had to be cute and conscious.  you just had to be smart and
appealing.  you just had to have what i find sexy in a guy. you just had to be you and i just had to see you for myself and find out you’re taken.

you got me all so excited and you just had to cross my path when i thought the best i could hope for was eye candy.  but no, you had to have a brain and a job that actually pays well.  why couldn’t you be a loser, a bum, a raging horny jock or one of those regrettable waste of oxygen on earth, a lousy excuse for a human being?

why did you have to be where you were when i was there, and why did i have to talk to you and get to know more about you?  why did i have to know what i do know about you when i could have just simply ignored you?

why can’t you just get the fuck out of my face, if i knew i couldn’t have you?  why do i even have to say this about you when nobody even knows how much i like you?  you son of a bitch. i just might drunk-dial you one of these days, and ask you to leave her.  because i can do so much better, believe me.  i really can.

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