the voice

July 7, 2006 at 3:44 pm | Posted in Musings and Epiphanies | 2 Comments

i guess poeple do tend to flock to where they can be entertained. i do that too. it just made me reflect about the quality of writing i put into my own journal and how it mirrors who i am as a person. how does my “voice”, as one colleague put it, come across?


Song of the Moment: Flawless (Go to the City), George Michael
To Do (tasks, not people): turn in that application
Current State: lazy
~~~~~~~~~~

i’ve come across quite a wide range of journals out there, some of them out of this world funny, some angsty and angry, some are inspirational while some are just plain boring. but i zero in on those authored by similarly-situated people (mid- to late-20s gay men who are for the most part middle-range employees in some company or another, mostly single) and i notice the funnier ones are the ones with the most hits. i’m not one for mass marketing although sometimes i do wonder why is it that it seems online blogging is no exception for typecasting; gay=funny, it should be, no other way to put it.

i guess poeple do tend to flock to where they can be entertained. i do that too. it just made me reflect about the quality of writing i put into my own journal and how it mirrors who i am as a person. how does my “voice”, as one colleague put it, come across?

maybe two years back it was a voice of anger and resentment, of trepidation and regret. i might have been ambivalent back then, fearful or just downright smarting from hurt. which sometimes sounds a lot like the way i probably write nowadays.

which is so weird because away from the keyboard i’m not really all about that. life has moved on, and though i still stay away from certain places, i’ve went new places though i haven’t taken the time out to describe those.

i guess because in general, this blog has taken on a voice of its own quite distinct from who i really am in real life. this blog has a voice, and it speaks of the hurt, the anger and the regret i have had to go through over the years. i wish i could be funny instead of parochial, witty instead of dreary. but that just ain’t me. i’m not into funny little ancedotes about the workplace, or the intermittent dates i go on. i’m not the funniest gay guy you’ll meet, and i can be a little cold, bordering on being a wet blanket.

my blog isn’t “popular” because people don’t come here for a laugh or two, unless of course all this is funny to you because you’re one heartless ass who enjoys reading about the misery of other people. and that’s fine. popularity isn’t something you type away through, so those 0 comments shouldn’t really bug me. but the other issue — that of being a sad, dejected, jaded voice — is something to work on. if i get around the pull of preferring the safe and tried to the new and exciting. which is where the real problem lies, i guess.

so on with life. and to finding myself out there.

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2 Comments »

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  1. “Voice”? Hmmm…am I that colleague? Hehe. Your blog is great! You don’t have to be funny. Good luck on the running. Yes, quit smoking–it’s difficult but not impossible. –Ate

  2. Thanks Carla. I am learning to quit… slowly… with every peak I climb…. *hingal*. 😀


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