sighting

May 4, 2006 at 10:17 pm | Posted in Musings and Epiphanies | Leave a comment

a flash of a thought came to me — i have all my senses intact, and the only disability i have is that poor, pathetic excuse i have for a heart — an often exaggerated one, mind you. and suddenly i am thankful.

Song of the Moment: Prayer for the Dying, by Seal
To Do (tasks, not people): go home
Current State: battling an impalpable sadness
~~~~~~~~~~

on my way to the internet shop tonight i take a ride on a jeepney where a blind guy sits next to me. he pawed in his pocket for loose change and i watched him as he went about counting his money with the touch of his fingertips.

a flash of a thought came to me — i have all my senses intact, and the only disability i have is that poor, pathetic excuse i have for a heart — an often exaggerated one, mind you. and suddenly i am thankful.

i can’t imagine losing my sight, or my hearing or my speech or my limbs. and even those who have, like the guy who sat beside me, still go on with their lives. i have something he doesn’t, and i am ashamed at just how abusive i can be towards my own body. from mundane habits like reading at night in the dark or straining my eyes in front of the monitor, to the more despicable habits of judging people on the basis of looks and ignoring things i can see in the periphery of my vision to the more esoteric exercises like not appreciating the vibrance of a colorful world and instead focusing on the grey areas and the dark clouds above my head over things that piss me off — that sort of stuff.

i’m not blind. i’m near-sighted and i lost my eyeglasses last Sunday when i went jogging at the old university. but beyond that, sometimes i can’t see what is right there in front of me because of myopia. so maybe it’s time to start looking at the world around me more often as one in which the stuff of life fills the earth half-full, and not half-empty. maybe then i can see blue in a different light, instead of the wet blanket that i associate it with today.

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