north bound

January 30, 2006 at 7:35 pm | Posted in Emotions, The Side of Me You Didn't Know | 3 Comments

<quote>for the longest time, i had only an inkling that i had these two younger siblings — a girl and a boy — but didn’t really know them.</quote>
Song of the Moment: Superstar by Usher, Kaleidoscope Eyes by Jams and Spoon, Proud by Heather Small
To Do (tasks, not people): shore up the necessary resources
Current State: faking it
~~~~~~~~~~

when i was a baby, my dad and mom had already been separated. it wasn’t because their differences had become irreconcilable, yadda, yadda. it was because my dad had gotten himself into a mess with this pretty young lass (i guess). all that shit, you know, really isn’t my cup of tea. the details are just too sordid and over and done with for me to realy dwell on them.

the bottomline is, well, of course my dad had kids with the woman.

and for the longest time, i had only an inkling that i had these two younger siblings — a girl and a boy — but didn’t really know them.

well now i do. yep, we are constantly in touch nowadays. my sister sends me forwards almost every day. sometimes we chat it up a bit. my younger sister’s name is ezelle (she followed me by less than a year) and the boy, who is about two years younger than me is harry.

they both live up north in this city called laoag. she’s married and he’s stopped schooling, sadly. when our dad died their mom re-married. so i guess that makes for one hell of a screwed up family tree, eh?

anyway the point is just that i’m so proud that i actually have a younger sister and brother. eventhough i know next to nothing about them, i have made it a life goal to get to know them and learn about what happened in all those years we were apart.

ezelle’s got a little baby girl already so that’s even excellent news. another niece! in my mind i have a picture of my sister and brother, and my paternal kin tell me she looks a lot like me. that makes the prospect of meeting even more exciting (hehe, spell of narcissism there).

you know, some people make such a big fuss about half-sisters and half-this or step-this and that. but for me there are only children, and whatever the story behind them is irrelevant. they are blessings of no shameful value whatsoever.

i guess making contact with my sister has helped me come to terms with that as well.

i used to resent my dad for not being there for me. i used to think how life would be if he were alive. maybe he’d be assuming some responsibilities i have been forced to take on my own. but who cares. that’s not a molehill of a problem since it’s just a supposition underlined by the fact that he is long dead. longer than i could really care about, since i don’t even remember him.

but even if dad’s a stranger, i guess there should be no reason why my sister and brother should be.

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3 Comments »

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  1. am happy for you…
    at least that’s one the best thing that new year offers you. 🙂

  2. wee! ano’ng sinabi ng mga soap opera sa buhay natin?

  3. gari, salamat!

    finn, *sigh* yeah, let us count the ways, shall we? 😉


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