combatant

August 27, 2005 at 5:45 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

alice says it’s not a war.  and i agree.  why would it have to be so violent, this feeling we all seek only in the company of someone who will be with us at a level that no other person ever would be?
 
yet, sometimes, i can’t help but wonder why love could be so difficult as if one were locked in a battle.
 
we map out strategies, whether we are aware of it or not.  do i text him or not?  do i say hi or do i ignore him? the “hidden laws of a probable outcome” often than not depends upon split-second decisions that will determine the terrain of one’s mission.
 
we build our trenches, stick our head out for the “enemy” and start shooting upon sight.  sometimes love feels like it’s contingent upon the defeat of someone else’s defenses. hence the term ‘conquest’, perhaps?  (i just want to get to know you.  maybe we can talk over coffee?)
 
and so we set the stage for setting down our spades and aces, as if these weapons were the shape of our hearts, as sting sings.  (what do you do when they call you for an assignment outside the city? do you live with your parents?)
 
the terrain gets more complicated as we learn more about the “enemy”.  we discover they live with their parents, so where will we hang out? we find out they go to law school and we think does he have a social life? will he have time for me? we find the enemy is into rock music and we say what, no backstreet boys?
 
as we find out more we use our smiles and silence as weapons.  sometimes we also go back to eating our pasta.  (quick, think of something to say to keep him talking.)
 
it’s all about making a right turn.  otherwise you’ll end up a casualty.  (i am soooooo over him, like duh.) when he starts shooting your way and your wit isn’t in check, you just might find yourself holding a one-way ticket to loserville.  (he is so antipatiko, i hope he never covers us.)
 
does it really have to be like this?  can’t we just do away with our armors and try honesty once in a while?  dan would say what’s so great about the truth?  try lying for a change, it’s the currency of the world. he might have a point.  why be honest when you can say i don’t like you anyway
 
but that’s the pitfall of a soldier.  one must assess the truth of his situation. (i am somebody, with or without somebody else.) he must be aware at all times of the objective conditions around him.  he must always be on guard without letting his defenses down.  (i ilke you but if you don’t like me then i don’t like you either.)  but he must always be willing to shift tactics.  (unless i see you walking down the street one day and you say hi, i will never speak to you again.)  one must always make room for revisions in one’s gameplay without losing sight of the strategy. (i’m looking for myself out there, and hopefully, someone somewhere will find me.)
 
the enemy is out there, lurking.  and just like in any warfare you must engage, you only get one shot at him. (i love you.)
 
be on guard.  because i can’t help but think that in order to achieve “peace” one must be willing to wage a war.
 
 

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4 Comments »

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  1. no backstreetboys? there are cute guys naman from a rock band *giggle*

  2. uy nde naman ako fan ng bsb noh. was just trying to be funny, hehehe!

  3. sounds like sun tzu’s art of war ah 🙂 hey, i absorbed it swear 🙂

  4. heya bulan! pano ka nakatakas sa firewalls nyo? hehehe.

    i swear i’m a lover, not a fighter. pero pag ganito ng ganito… grrr.


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