while he wasn’t looking

August 25, 2005 at 3:41 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

it would have been easier to let things go if i hadn’t seen that picture. after all, it wasn’t really anything, right? 
but i saw your face.  and then i saw his.
shame on you the first time. i didn’t know.  shame on me the second time around.  i didn’t know nor cared who he was.  and shame, shame, shame for all those times in between ignorance and awareness. shame for letting my gonads run all over my better judgment.
i still don’t know him.  all i have is his face.  but i don’t think i can ever be with you again knowing we’re doing something i know i don’t want my lover to do behind my back.
i was so drawn to you from the moment i met you.  i guess i hadn’t been attracted to a “bad boy” before.  and (with a knowing smile), yes, you were a ‘bad boy’.  it was fun while it lasted. 
i hope i don’t ever end up with someone like you.  i hope not all guys are like you.  and to think you could have been my marcus
but i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to resist you when i see you again.  but i can’t stop thinking about how i would feel if i were in HIS shoes.
so let’s be friends, then?


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