“was it as awful for you as it was for me?”

July 30, 2005 at 6:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

i swear, the next time i go out on one of those blind dates again, i’m just gonna go right out and say ‘hi, nice to meet you mr. self-absorbed grade-A jerk.  i’m mr. uptight and repressed.  can we just get this over with so we can go on with our lives afterwards? thanks.”
i swear. this meet market is so freaking limited. can i go through one date without a guy saying some names i know but would rather not? *guffaw* there’s an unwritten book that enumerates the things one is not supposed to talk about when he’s on a date with someone he supposedly likes. exes, for example. or plans about backpacking in europe to find a lover. and inconsequential common friends. when such topics float on a date, it’s a sign to bail. he’s not into you.  cut and cut cleanly.  or you could just pick out the seafood on your pasta and stuff yourself silly and wish somebody from the kitchen would start yelling ‘fire!’.
because you see, i’m too kind and gentle (self-promoting, also) to excuse myself for a magical, all-of-a-sudden appointment i have to go to. but not before barfing my guts out in the men’s room.
now don’t get me wrong, i’m quite comfortable with myself nowadays.  i don’t have any ugly duckling baggage in my backpack anymore.  as i’ve come to know, “people are beautiful because we love them. it’s not the other way around.” it’s just that yeah, with self-awareness comes the realization that i’m not one of THOSE people.  i’m not one of those ‘wow, i’m gonna go after this guy’ kind of person.  i guess i’m a lot to handle. 
it takes a while to REALLY get to know me.  i’m too complex (or so i believe) to be condensed into a character study within the span of a dinner date in which half the time is spent eating. (a private activity i do not really enjoy performing in the company of absolute strangers, by the way — but who does?) that’s why the pretentious and vacuous dating scene just isn’t MY scene.  i have no best foot to put forward.  i’m rather reserved and to be honest i do tend to nitpick.  but as anyone who has had the patience to see more of me for some more time, i can be fun and sassy after a while.
i just need to relax a bit, but that takes time in my case.  anyway, no regrets.  i’m just me, i’m enough.
al fresco. gin tonic. cigs. friday night. dating myself. and for now, that’s better.
practice makes perfect.



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  1. echosera!

  2. try it sometime! šŸ˜›

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