superstition

July 21, 2005 at 5:29 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

i have this nagging fear inside of me that i have never talked to anyone about. i am fairly convinced that once i let out my liking about a guy to someone i know, that guy will never become my jowa. i don’t know how, but it just happens to be my superstition about boys.

i meet someone i yak about it to someone and next thing you know, nothing. as in absolutely nothing. how many times has this happened. uhm, let’s see. well, there was this guy i met a few years back, lost touch with him, saw his blog, yakked to someone who works with him about it and then *make sound of a crashing plane*.

then of course there was rocketman and all the drama from last year. yakked about it to everyone except the yakee, so that one ended up a yuckee.

then yesterday there was eileen and I poring over this particular guy’s blog. which is too bad because all this time i had kept this guy MY secret. absolutely no one knew. but as i hanged around eileen’s office yesterday i just couldn’t resist the itch to look at his blog. so now i’m very convinced there won’t be anything in there as well. which is too bad because this guy is soooooooo funny. (hey eileen, i don’t blame you though, okay?)

which leaves me with only one guy in my mind which no one knows about. i think. oh wait — i think i ratted about him to nina too. argh. but if i’m not mistaken i can still do something about this one yet. maybe if i keep my heart out of sight and shut up, maybe — just maybe — i can still take my sweet time and see. maybe i should begin by stopping myself from writing about him in this blog, for starters.

who was it that said the best kind of love is that kind which only the two of you know? well, this isn’t a call to secrecy, or a call to go back to the closet. this is just about me realizing that if i ever, ever find someone then the best way to keep it together is to keep it away from the eyes of the public. maybe a few disclosures here and there, but not the whole thing on the papers, so to speak.

now if this guy i have in mind can only qualify for life goal #10. i really, really want to get to know him. and that’s all i’m ever going to say about him from now on. and no amount of inquiries from friends who get to read this will make me betray my own lips.

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6 Comments »

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  1. oi, superstitions are for people who need to justify why things aren’t going their way. even einstein gave up on his own superstitions, and voila! he ended up with the theory of relativity.

    so my dear vincent, never ignore this statement that our grade school teachers lovingly quoted before each quarter test: success is 99% perspiration and 1% luck.

    take if from robert boyle: results don’t have to conform to abstract theories.

    it doesn’t hurt to tell who you like, basta do something about it. you are the force that will make things work.

    aye? aye!

  2. “do something about it.”

    well, it’s been a while since i was a fool for anyone.

    samahan mo ko, stalk natin? har har har!

  3. ay,gusto ko yan. i love stalking! mwhahahaha!

  4. no wonder we’re such good friends!!!!!

    but i like him too much. and besides, i think he likes me too. or he likes my BODY, at the very least. hahaha! kapal!!

    btw, you don’t know who i’m talking about, do you?

  5. no idea who your current yum-yum is. will you disclose his name?

    — squiggle

  6. no chance at all. but yeah. he’s a yum-yum. 🙂


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