this one has a title because i’m not so mad anymore

July 4, 2005 at 8:19 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

“someone forwarded what you wrote in your blog.  just tell me if you want to burn bridges (which is becoming a habit, no?) was i self-righteous? an asshole lounging around in the lobby while you were doing the work?  i hope you would have the wisdom to take back what you have written or at least a little sense decency (sic) to grow up. 
 
FYI, i was already up, coordinating a press conference, when you were still at home. and the only reason why i had to rush you to bring those freaking documents down there was because there was a chance to clinch an interview for ***** with ANC.
 
you doing all the work? we are not helping you? remember yesterday afternoon? did you feel that when i asked you to help me do some media work for ***** after the hearing i was barking orders at you?  it is your job in the first place to do that work.
 
and it was already 3.30 in the afternoon.  that’s why i was already rushing you to distribute the PR. you really amaze me with your immaturity vince.”
 
(jonas, in response to my blog article a few days back)
 
************
 
jonas,
 
i had to take my sweet time before responding to these series of messages because i wanted to let the bad feelings subside first.  with that said, let me just say that first off, i do not think you are in any position to tell me what i can or cannot say in my blog.  it’s my space, it’s my word out here.
 
you accuse me of improper decorum in adressing a comrade, yet you impose your values on me by imploring that i “grow up”, whatever that means in your vocabulary.  my life, my terms, jonas.  you, more than anybody, should know the value of never living your life along someone else’s terms.
 
it just surprises me that in all your haste, you seem to have forgotten to inform me, your friend — your teammate — what exactly it was you were doing on the morning of thursday (july 1) while i was, in your words supposedly “still at home”.  if this had any bearing on the way you acted towards me for the rest of the day, i am unaware.  but just imagine the amount of time i would have saved if i had time to focus on the PR instead of having to answer your calls every now and then, or had you just gone up instead and took the documents down yourself.  in any case i’m just playing with those thoughts now.
 
but it is precisely that sense of righteousness, that arrogance which made me hate you so much that day.  that was my version of the truth, that was what i saw.  you were not insistent, you were nagging me.  and if you want to know me, the first thing you must know is that i do not like being pushed.  hey, feel free to call me a bastard.  but don’t push me.
 
you only saw how mad i was on thursday, how much anger i am capabale of, wrongly or otherwise. yet you seem unaware of just how much i loved the way we worked on wednesday.  and then you go on to put words in my mouth by recounting the media work we did on wednesday, and somehow attribute some of my anger to that day, when i said nothing in my blog that even remotely brought that to mind. 
 
you further trivialize my feelings and the things i have gone through when you even hint on the “other bridges” i’ve burned, without a thought as to why and how exactly those bridges were burned.  fyi, it’s not a habit, they are collectively, a life choice, a weeding out of relationships that are not working from those that still are. but then again those are my terms, and i do not recall asking anyone to understand, accept or condone them, including you.  my choice, my path.  i live with them as best i can. if that is what you call ‘immaturity’ then so be it.  it really makes no difference to me.
 
i will reiterate, and never speak of this again.  that i take back my ‘punyeta’.  but if reconciliation was your aim in pouring out your thoughts like that regarding my blog, then i would implore you to please get off your high horse first and deal with me as an equal.
 
vince
 

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2 Comments »

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  1. i salute you vince! it’s about time. i’m so proud of you. muah! 🙂

  2. *giggle* now if i only knew who you were…

    are you the same person who wanted to slap me a year back over a particular issue (read: boy) that is best left in the dustbin of history? hihihi!


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