losing my shirt

May 7, 2005 at 6:28 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

i’m back in familiar surroundings: the comfortable and safe four corners of the office. getting stuck here at this day, at this hour confirms what i fear — that i AM a workaholic.

but i’d rather have this anytime than say, going to some exhibit in a place called astra to look at nude photography, look like an idiot for a good fifteen minutes and then leave feeling so bad.

i liked the exhibit, actually. i just didn’t like that there was a promise attending my presence; that there was this someone who was going to show me around. but ten minutes in, i was still standing alone, so i just stood there in the hallway and pretended i knew art, contemplating the photographs that hanged on the walls.

as soon as dark clouds began forming above my head, i left, thinking i had been stood up. i was fuming, and i wanted so bad to hit something.

my sanctuary was starbucks at the strip. my pill was a tall serving of hot chocolate. the side-effect was the banter of about a hundred coffee-drinking people all around and me enjoying being with myself on a table and not even looking around for cute guys at all.

it helped of course, that an apology was on my phone by 10pm.

by the time i woke up this morning, i was feeling better. last night’s miscommunications don’t matter anymore. that’s just the way it went down, and that’s it. better luck next time, i guess.

because i knew i had to get a lot of things done, i just had to put on my usual brave, confident face and went out into the searing heat of the midday sun and got here to the office all smelly and exhausted from the sweat and sun.

at the risk of an officemate possibly coming over and seeing me, i worked without my shirt on.

i traipsed about the office faxing a press release and writing a speech and calling up people, and all the while my upper half was naked. (not to worry, i put it back on when the sun went down, and i am fully clothed as i write this).

i’m just looking back at this and thinking about how all funny this is, because i realize that in the past 24 hours, i lost my shirt twice without any sex involved. and if the apology was sincere, then i’ll probably be checking out an exhibit again next weekend.


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