rise

April 29, 2005 at 5:18 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

heartaches are so much easier to get over when you don’t have to be reminded of them on a daily basis. the truth of the matter is, last year i had gone as far as applying for a job elsewhere because i just wanted to walk away.

it was all fine and exciting when, in the words of fiona apple, i would spend time on “daydreams of a boy, whose reality i knew, was a hopeless to be had”. but when that reality kicks in, one finds that his mood dips lower than fiona’s crooning.

when one has to be reminded of what he went through because the guy in question is only a few doors away, i find that work could suffer. i’m a walking case against office romance.

sometimes, it still amazes me how i put up with my own circumstances. it used to be easy to get over someone because after a break-up, or after a couple of lousy dates, i never had to deal with the guy again.

nowadays it’s not the case.

but here’s the thing. there’s nowhere else i’d rather be. i like what i do. and i sincerely feel that people can count on me for added responsibilities. i have earned other people’s trust. i am reliable, even to the point that sometimes, i have extended myself too thinly. finally, i belong.

but how about the unresolved issues? i guess work becomes the factor that defines the space between me and all that baggage. blooming workaholic? maybe. but what else is there to look forward to in the workplace? i’ve been burned by a couple of heartaches in the workplace, and i must now come to terms with the fact that this is a place of livelihood, not a place for picking up all the wrong guys for me.

the long and short of it: i’m ready for someone new.

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