bush-isms

March 26, 2005 at 8:27 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

This is the reason I’m at an internet cafe tonight laughing at my monitor like a huge idiot, while all around me people are probably looking out for sex on mIRC. Maybe I should do the same. *wink*

***
The Complete Bushisms
By Jacob Weisberg
Updated Friday, Feb. 25, 2005, at 9:05 AM PT

“This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table.”—Brussels, Belgium, Feb. 22, 2005 (Thanks to Fred Kaplan)

“If you’re a younger person, you ought to be asking members of Congress and the United States Senate and the president what you intend to do about it. If you see a train wreck coming, you ought to be saying, what are you going to do about it, Mr. Congressman, or Madam Congressman?”— Detroit, Feb. 8, 2005

“Because the—all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculate, for example, is on the table; whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There’s a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those—changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be—or closer delivered to what
has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It’s kind of muddled. Look, there’s a series of things that cause the—like, for example, benefits are calculated based upon the increase of wages, as opposed to the increase of prices. Some have suggested that we calculate—the benefits will rise based upon inflation, as opposed to wage increases. There is a reform that would help solve the red if that were put into effect. In other words, how fast benefits grow, how fast the promised benefits
grow, if those—if that growth is affected, it will help on the red.”—Explaining his plan to save Social Security, Tampa, Fla., Feb. 4, 2005

“I’m also mindful that man should never try to put words in God’s mouth. I mean, we should never ascribe natural disasters or anything else, to God. We are in no way, shape, or form should a human being, play God.”—Appearing on ABC’s 20/20, Washington D.C., Jan. 14, 2005

“We need to apply 21st-century information technology to the health care field. We need to have our medical records put on the I.T.”—Collinsville, Ill., Jan. 5, 2005

“The CIA laid out several scenarios and said life could be lousy, life could be OK, life could be better, and they were just guessing as to what the conditions might be like.”—New York, Sept. 21, 2004

“Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN’s aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country.”—Sept. 6, 2004, Poplar Bluff, Mo.

“Tribal sovereignty means that, it’s sovereign. You’re a—you’ve been given sovereignty, and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity. And, therefore, the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities.”—Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

“Secondly, the tactics of our—as you know, we don’t have relationships with Iran. I mean, that’s—ever since the late ’70s, we have no contacts with them, and we’ve totally sanctioned them. In other words, there’s no sanctions—you can’t—we’re out of sanctions.”—Annandale, Va., Aug. 9, 2004

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 (Thanks to Alicia Butler.)

“I want to thank my friend, Sen. Bill Frist, for joining us today. … He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. (Laughter.) Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.”—Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004

“I’m honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein.” —Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004

“But the true strength of America is found in the hearts and souls of people like Travis, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves.”—Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004 (Thanks to George Dupper.)

“The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the—the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice.”—Washington, D.C., Oct. 27, 2003 (Thanks to Robert Hack.)

“[W]e’ve had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch, and I’ve spoken out consistently against them, and I want to know who the leakers are.”—Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003

“I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what’s moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves.”—Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003

“We had a good Cabinet meeting, talked about a lot of issues. Secretary of State and Defense brought us up to date about our desires to spread freedom and peace around the world.”—Washington, D.C., Aug. 1, 2003 (Thanks to Tanny Bear.)

“Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace.”—Washington, D.C., July 25, 2003

“Our country puts $1 billion a year up to help feed the hungry. And we’re by far the most generous nation in the world when it comes to that, and I’m proud to report that. This isn’t a contest of who’s the most generous. I’m just telling you as an aside. We’re generous. We shouldn’t be bragging about it. But we are. We’re very generous.”—Washington, D.C., July 16, 2003

“I’m also not very analytical. You know I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.”—Aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

“I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances.”—Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003

“Oftentimes, we live in a processed world—you know, people focus on the process and not results.”—Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003

“First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren’t necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn’t mean you’re willing to kill.”—Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003

“Let me tell you my thoughts about tax relief. When your economy is kind of ooching along, it’s important to let people have more of their own money.”—Boston, Oct. 4, 2002

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can’t get fooled again.”—Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

“See, we love—we love freedom. That’s what they didn’t understand. They hate things; we love things. They act out of hatred; we don’t seek revenge, we seek justice out of love.”—Oklahoma City, Aug. 29, 2002

“Do you have blacks, too?”—To Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001

“This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.”—as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

“For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times.”—Tokyo, Japan, Feb. 18, 2002

”I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe—I believe what I believe is right.”—Rome, July 22, 2001

“Anyway, I’m so thankful, and so gracious—I’m gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well.”—Miami, Fla., June 4, 2001

“But I also made it clear to [Vladimir Putin] that it’s important to think beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe.”—Washington, D.C., May 1, 2001 (Thanks to Gene Mosher.)

“It’s very important for folks to understand that when there’s more trade, there’s more commerce.”— Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001

“Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican.”—Declining to answer reporters’ questions at the Summit of the Americas, Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001

“I’ve coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically.”—Radio-Television Correspondents Association dinner, Washington, D.C., March 29, 2001

“A lot of times in the rhetoric, people forget the facts. And the facts are that thousands of small businesses—Hispanically owned or otherwise—pay taxes at the highest marginal rate.”—to the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce; Washington, D.C., March 19, 2001

“You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.”—Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001

“”They misunderestimated me.”—Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

“”They said, ‘You know, this issue doesn’t seem to resignate with the people.’ And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates or not doesn’t matter to me, because I stand for doing what’s the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work.”—Portland, Ore., Oct. 31, 2000

“I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can’t answer your question.”—In response to a question about whether he wished he could take back any of his answers in the first debate. Reynoldsburg, Ohio, Oct. 4, 2000 (Thanks to Peter Feld.)

“I will have a foreign-handed foreign policy.”—Redwood, Calif., Sept. 27, 2000

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