my hair won’t stay in place!

February 20, 2005 at 2:11 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

(a rant piece, obviously)

because i felt like it had started to brittle and DIE, i decided to leave the house today with no hair product on me — the first time since i stopped getting haircuts (sometime in November 2004).

it’s terrible. my hair is up, it’s going in all directions, and simply won’t be combed down into submission.

eileen says my hair will probably be long enough for styling by march, but nina tells me i should get my hair done by april instead. and i do feel april will be better for me. so that’s another two months of messy hair before, what, i don’t know exactly. rebond? relax? hot oil? straightening? most votes go in favor of rebonding, but sometimes i have the urge to just walk into a barber shop and have it shaved. that’s how pissed i am sometimes.

but this is what i signed up for when i said i wanted a new version of me.

[recap: first i trimmed down to a waistline that is scandalously thin for my mother and some friends (from a probable high of 36 to now 29), i dropped about 50 pounds or something, stopped shaving for a while then took out the mustache because… well, just because with the eyebags it made me look like a petty criminal.

then the wardrobe had to change. tight fits are in, all my XL shirts are now gathering dust or waiting to be shipped out to the next calamity area. the baggy pants are out and straight cuts with chemical wash and wrinkles on the thigh area are in.]

all for that ‘fashionably sensitive but too cool to care’ look.

in short, i wanted character, and the hair is part of the package. as i read somewhere else: forehead = wisdom; wisdom = boring; boring = death. ergo, forehead = death. but until i have grown my hair to a comfortable length at which bangs can form, i will have to keep slicking it back with gel, style it with mousse and stay away from dust-infested places to avoid dandruff.

i have four kinds of combs on my drawer, two of them fine-toothed, to give my hair that discipline which Manila traffic often takes away after two hours of commuting. I have a brush for before going to bed because i think it relaxes my hair as the brush allows it to puff up like a mild afro as i lie down in bed. then i have a spare comb for the shaggy nights when i have to hit the shower first, but let’s not go into details.

i use up about two bottles of gatsby every month, because it’s the best brand around (don’t use master gel! don’t use tricks! don’t use anything else!) but the sun is not exactly its best friend, and for those times when i find myself going to the office at 11 am (uhmm, actually about three times a week. okay, maybe four…) i can only guess how cooked my hair has already gotten by the time i get to the office.

and it gets worse everytime i wake up in the morning. i realize my hair isn’t really all that thick and luscious as i’d hoped. it’s actually very sparse and rare around the top. my mother points out that it runs in the family, both hers and my dad’s. all at once i feel doomed, and almost at once consign myself to the cruel logic of genes.

but i refuse to believe that. what i need is hair therapy.

something which perci is just too happy to give. he catches me writing this and exclaims “bakla! wag mong padapain ang buhok mo!”. we are at the HQ and i am writing a press release for tomorrow’s picket at mendiola regarding the state visit of myanmar’s prime minister. (which is something really terrible and important, which is why it will NOT be discussed here.)

“but i always thought it looks better dressed down,” i say, and he starts flipping his fingers all over my locks and frumps them up and through.

the end result, he says a minute later, is now character and volume. “use your fingers” he screams at me, and asks me if i watch QEFTSG. of course i do, and i’ve seen that episode (heaven forbid i miss KYAN handing out tips like THAT!)where kyan tells us to start applying gel from the back to the front, and to use ONLY our fingers for styling. been there, done that, and i felt awkward following the second instruction.

in any case, i light a cig and shake my head from side to side and feel my hair bouncing. i guess the jigs (hmm.. jigs!) perci gave did some good. it makes me think: is slicked back really out, and is chaos in? can i pull it off on days when i have to be in my best behavior (as if!) and best looks in front of crooks in lawmaking sessions? best, perhaps to carry extra sachets of gatsby in my kikay kit, just in case.

in the meantime, i am crawling the web looking for fixing tips and other research that might help me in my conundrum. i surf the sites and watch out for david’s or provost (pricey, so no go), and eileen tells me she will take me to this salon in katipunan when IT IS TIME. save up, she tells me, which is her way of saying the trip will probably inflict bad-ass damage on my budget, especially if it entails consultations or whatever.

*sigh* april cannot come too soon. by then i expect my brother to be out of the house, i will be living in a new apartment, and my hair will be fab. thirteen months in the making already, this new version. but for now, i’m still hairballing*.

ah, beauty. how forked and complicated your path is. *giggle*

(hairballing – just a new word i coined, who the hell cares what it means)


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