stop making excuses!

February 12, 2005 at 5:56 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

sorry, but this site will be down on february 14. there will be no conspiracies, no exponential analysis of unrequited passions, no settling, no searching, no nothing.

it will be a blank page. not because of anything other than that i have crossed out the date on my calendar as a day in which i will be W-O-R-K-I-N-G. i just don’t get it. i met up with cess and len last night at UP, (after which we ditch len, the illustrado-in-the-making and proceed to Market! Market! riding the taxicab from hell). and all the while a significant portion of our time together was spent talking about what we would be doing on the 14th.

is it on monday? i didn’t even realize, i tell them, which was the goddamned honest truth.

cess has her plans pretty much cleared up for her, courtesy of keech (yes, they’re back together — in all the months i haven’t seen her they’ve apparently gotten back together for good.) len on the other hand has a date with her boyfriend, LL. B. so we’re leaving her to her books and her jurisprudence shit.

obviously i was the only one who did not have any plans.

but honestly the only way i knew for sure that v-v-v-vaa-valeen-leentuh-tuh-tuh–yyyyns day was coming up was only when i saw those chocolates for sale on 7-11 the other night and today, when i noticed how the prices of flowers at Vis Ave have gone up.

otherwise, the only thing on my mind the past few days have been: 1) how to figure out audblog, because i want to try it out, 2) finishing my backlog with APL and PARRDS and 3) sustaining my boss’s presence in the Inquirer since Thursday.

after cess and i went our own ways last night, i get a message from rocketman asking where i was. i figured he and my badminton buddy tune were together at Sharky’s, a fact she confirmed in a separate message after i replied to rocketman’s.

half-heartedly i go, if only to prove to myself i could hang out with him after all that bullshit from last year’s episode. actually things have settled down between us, and it’s safe to say we’re friends now. so hanging out at Sharky’s with them was more a way to pass away time since it was 1 am anyway, so i might as well be totally late going home, right?

in any case, as soon as i got there, beer was waiting and they were in the middle of talking about monday as if it were some Armageddon-level scenario and what they would be doing then. and i got an invitation to hang out at Malate, but I make no promises.

this morning i log on to my egroups and find the same stuff littering my egroups, about the rules of love, keeping up relationships, and the BIG PLAN for the 14th, etc.

it seems that everyone is so busy making plans for monday (i thought tuesday) for only two reasons: to flaunt the fact that they’re not alone, or to hide the fact that they are.

if going out on monday means bonding with fellow singles and casting away the negative stereotypes we attach to being in our mid/late-20s and single then i’d rather not go out at all.

i mean i love my friends, i love them dearly, but do we have to make a big fuss about going out on monday just because we all know what date it is? i always thought hanging out meant playing it by ear, but now, people are falling all over themselves working out details and planning everything up to the last minute. i don’t want any of that.

so i have resolved that on monday i will WORK. way into the night. maybe go home at 1 am straight from the office. after all, it’s not even a holiday! so shutting down the chronicles will be my way of keeping my mind on track and make sure i fulfill my promise.

the only way i’ll be out on monday is if it’s me and my mom eating out. flowers for her, definitely. but friends, single and otherwise, will have to make do without me on that day.

if getting together on monday means i won’t have to be reminded of being single then i’d rather wallow. for those of us with no SOs to speak of, it seems getting together with friends has become a way to forget the fact. it’s not even about sharing love. if you really love your friends then showing it doesn’t have to climax with an all-night-out party on the 14th. you show it everyday.

so what other purpose would going out on the 14th serve a single gay guy like me? nothing.

i’m single and i make no excuses. let everybody else flaunt or hide the fact. me? i’m going on with my life.

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