on the other hand…

February 3, 2005 at 8:36 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

this is not about the energies i’ve spent outflowing towards those with whom so much had passed unsaid. instead, this is about me on the other end of affections i am sorry i couldn’t return. a realization in search of love’s divine, the unrecognized worthiness bestowed i was too blind to see.

if you were that guy i stood up years ago when i said i’d like to have coffee with you. if you were that guy who threw me sideway glances in figaro, whose eyes were met with raised eyebrows. if you were that guy a friend intorduced in a bar and i never called back. if you were that guy i promised to keep in touch with after a date i had to leave early. if you were that guy. sorry.

maybe it sounds too fake. maybe a little too late. this is just to say it’s the same story elsewhere. it’s the old jules running after michael running after kimmy dillema. it’s the old everybody plays the fool sometimes plot. it’s just the same old what kind of fool am i tune we all have sung at one point.

if feelings were that easy to command.

so this is just to say that i finally get it. it’s all about the things that go around only to come around, my lesson to learn and learning it well.

this is just to say that grace is a virtue most undeniably central to any heartache, whether i am the one going through it or the one causing it.

and sorry, so hard to say with sincerity, is the first word that needs to be said if this lesson is to be of any use.


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