adulthood

June 17, 2004 at 10:40 pm | Posted in Ennui, Gratitude, the L word | 2 Comments

There must be a word for this, when time has moved on and the 25th hour is over, yet you feel at ease for the good it has done to you. When you know happiness is a choice, and it is only the path to it that you have to figure out. When you know that letting go isn’t always goodbye.


There must be a word for this, when you can look yourself in the mirror and still say “you’re worth it”. When you realize that you are a gem, and if you are not worth the wooing then as longfellow said, then you are not worth the winning. When even ‘winning’ loses its contrived definition and become a process and not an end goal.

There must be a word for this, when after the long kiss goodnight you can actually look forward to tomorrow and not hate yourself for waking up alone in bed. When your bed becomes an affirmation of individuality, not a prison where you are supposed to languish in longing and wanting.

There must be a word for this, when you can live with your choices and regret fades from your dictionary like a badly conceived term. When you realize words are not all that you have, because you have your heart, and you have your mind — and they’re working in unison instead of against each other.

There must be a word for this when you can forgive without being asked for it, when you can channel your anger into something positive and be able to rise above the pettiness of self-doubt.

There must be a word for this, when your heart gets broken and you can still manage a smile. When you can pick up the pieces without resentment for playing the fool. When it doesn’t even matter how many times you play the fool, because you get through it a better man, a better person reaching out again and again until you can get it right.

There must be a word for this, when you can see the light and it doesn’t come after the dark but coexists as they should, in harmony, with one unable to survive without the other. When you can stand in the light with no fear to go back into the dark, if need be.

There must be a word for this, when it’s in the tip of your tongue and you can’t just say it out loud but still feel good inside.

There must be a word for this, when in spite of all the cow dung you’re dealt with, you can dust it off and go on.

There must be a word for this. No doubt about it.

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